Chalet Girl-Montage this for me please

It's a timely excuse to judge a book by it's cover and if a book had the phtoshopped cover of Chalet Gril the PR team would be running into marketing hell.But at the prise of taking a risk,Chalet Girl staring Felicity jones, pays off to bring a modest but enjoyable rom com to up hold the right of the cliche and what a matinee screening was made for.

Felicity Jones plays Kim, a skateaholic (don't get that mixed up with Ice skating though) a pretty,successful skateboarder who is taken out of the limelight of her career after the untimely death of her mother, the force that pushed her to the top of success, that has now forced her to rock bottom.Now working in fast food version of MacDonald's, Kim is told of the amazing work as a Chalet Girl.Whoopee now we know the meaning of the title. Kim travels to the alps of Switzerland where she unexpectedly falls in love but here's the catch he's to posh and rich for her and she's just another Chalet Girl.

Dreadful title, dreadful poster, yuck filled premise of a cataclysmic proportions with a predictable string of events that would make Katherine Heigl blush and it's filled to the bone with sappy, OMG sappy sentiment.It's looking like the perfect romantic comedy for the Hollyoaks generation, a squeaky clean rom com with nice country views. In actual fact this is just another romantic comedy, there's nothing really that separates this from No strings attached, well minus the sex.

The tradition of the rom com also isn't tarnished either and seeming that this type of predictable schmaltz is the standard of romantic comedies, Chalet Girl sticks to the path pretty faithfully. Eventually Kim learns how to snowboard in the Alps "A Chalet Girl who doesn't know how to Ski,what will they think of next" and we get the inevitable montage of the triumph over the the task which she had given up on because of the loss of her mum-every time she gets too high, the memories just flood back, right on time to. It's all perfectly cued to a pleasant, popular soundtrack of No 1 chart topping hits and adds to the appeal of the film as a pleasant,well meaning film,smiley,occasionally very funny and occasionally not very funny.

The cast is unusually strong for this type of film and you wonder why the likes of Bill Nighy were attached.Not that they aren't good, in fact the non comedic actor is surprisingly funny- as is the other Bill, Bill Bailey. The two main leads at least for this comedy you might actually like,see or want to fall for each other.It's free from the cynical jokes of Bell or Heigl and is all in all strongly cast. The top cast consists of Brooke shields, Bill Nighy and host of famous cameos but this isn't one for the stars of British celluloid, this is the film to show the works of it's fresh new comers.

Felicity Jones has starred in other films, noticeably starting off in Cemetery Junction and lastly staring in Soulboy and will probably be propelled to stardom later this year with the sundance weeper "Like Crazy". But it's the two leads who steer the film in the right direction. However, this "teen" comedy might just be to hip clashing with it's old school premise with references to Facebook "poke me" and the creation of what will go down as one of the most annoying brother in Laws in movie history (seriously in all your screen time and mutter it's a constant string of dialogue ,reduced to sex in a gondala).The predictability is the film's fashion, it's never daring to take risk's but possibly the biggest risk of all is that the film was made and that it finally works and is never directly offencive.

The film is released in time for Red Nose Day, so i propose that if your not in the mood for doing a run or that £5 donation wasn't enough then you might want to spend the price of £6.75 on a matinee screening.

** 1/2/****

THE LOW DOWN
Harmless fun for the people who are sick of the "new"

Black death-If braveheart had the plague

Christopher smith is a director i like.He made the train creeper called you guessed it Creep.Then moved onto severed comedy with Danny Dyer (the only watchable Danny Dyer film) Severance and then onto clever horror flick which surprised and divided audiences Triangle about the mother of all Bermuda triangles .But now the attention has been turned to medieval England, swiping away the "pestilence" in Black Death. If you can't remember a great swords and sorcery epic,slight on magic and more on story, then your in for a treat.

Sean Bean stars as fearsome knight Ulric "bringing death" where ever he goes, traveling the lands of the 13th century woods and villages with his band of blood swaggering,teeth grinding, dirty and bald headed merry men. The one the thing they are missing: a guide. Monk Osmund opens the films generally shaky start, trapped in a dungeon persuading the guard to be set free, seeing his loved one for the last time pushing her towards leaving her beloved town, escaping the pestilence. so far and so average. There should be nothing to separate Black Death from the average period action er (last years Solomon Kane is the closest in comparison) and in thinking back, Black Death is better than it should be. But as you continue through this medieval game of minesweeper you get an assuredly tense film with an atmosphere to perfectly suit the time, the era and the journey of solders hacking everything in their path.

Osmund prays to god for guidance "give me a sign" and Christopher smith's film walks the fine line between preachy religious subtext and an out right sword, dungeons and dragons epic and the swords in this are deadly. From the decapitated heads, to torture device which cut you from, well lets put it nicely, you won't be walking for weeks or talking. But no longer are we set aside on quests to evergreen hill to meet frodo at the mountains of madness, no this is quick but painfully gruesome fun. To quick even.

As the film begins it feels like it should be renamed "The Twin Tower Fellowship to the King".In the first 10 minutes i have seen the ground work for the Fellowship of the Rings, moving halfway through to the Twin Towers and reaching the climax of the Return of the King. It's all choppy, almost sluggish exposition at the start but once the action hits, it grows on you. Sean bean is at his strongest for years, playing the archetype father figure who watches over Osmund as he guides Ulrick's crew to the land where there is no pestilence. The rest of the cast are fine supporting characters. Darlywag (Andy Nyman) adds humour to the tale before it becomes too serious. But the bum note is the main lead Eddie Redmayre, there's no ignoring how wooden his performance feels, lacking the tough man approach to forgetting about his religious obligations or the man (or boy) who is doing his service out of love, his performance never reaches the emotional high it should but maybe this can be down to everyone up staging him from the supporting cast or a lack of experience on his part. His performance is cold, not hot and firery

But who cares when there's a snarly witch/ con artist who can bemuse her servants with just her ravishing locks of blond hair. The action reaches a technical high point and on such an obvious low budget, it is impressive. Christopher smith hasn't created a film where the fighting is the action and the drama but if the drama is to unbelievable for you, the fighting and deadly weaponry (finally showing a bit of blood) will have you weeping with joy, he keeps the tension and the excitement throughout. Osmund then meets blond goddess Langiva (Carice Von Houten)and so begins the films climax's. She is seen as a witch, but is praised for it. This is very different form the time in which it is set. Witches were burned and anyone who was against god was frowned upon. It becomes a test for Osmund primarily, to see if he will banish his god, he asks "why did you take her" (his wife is killed early on) and to save his life he must repent against god. "Repent" that is the one word which sums up Black Death, which by the end is up for question on whether the debate between atheism and Christianity works, some have argued that it is anti religious movie by the ned. Posh-tosh is the answer it shows both frontiers;you have the 'holy warriors' doing god's work which includes killing and you have the non-believers who will kill those who believe because they think they're wrong to do so.

The issue isn't who is right or wrong but that there are two sides to an argument. To simple and slight sure but it's earnest simplicity and it does it well. It isn't on the grand scale of the lord of the rings but if you were let down by Season of the Witch ,then this will serve as grimly violent substitute.

***/**** (3/4)


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